Queen Elisabeth Archive

Queen Sleeves



This post has been a long time coming. I felt in only fair that in sharing parts of my life, I should share an extremely important decision I’ve made about my life that will change it for the better.

On February 2, 2015 I’m getting the gastric sleeve done. The doctor will removed 2/3 of my stomach; with the idea that this will help me lose weight.

Due to a tremendous amount of health issues (PCOS and high blood pressure) I’ve decided to take a step to correct these problems. I’ve been struggling with my weight for close to 15 years and nothing has worked. Believe me when I say I’ve tried everything with limited success. I didn’t come to this decision lightly. It took months of soul searching and struggling with the ‘what ifs’ scenarios. It basically came down to ‘I want to be healthy again.’ I’ve heard whispers about ‘cheating’ or ‘just get off your fat ass’ but when getting off your fat ass doesn’t work…what then? So if anyone reading this thinks I’m ‘cheating’ then you are right…I’m cheating my body out of an early death. I’m cheating my knees out of constant pain. I’m cheating my ego out of beating myself up every morning for trying and failing and being disgusted with myself.

I shall keep everyone informed of my progress and post pictures from time to time. Thanks for reading and wish me luck



All about Queen

  1. First and Middle name Elisabeth Anne (named after both grandmothers)
  2. Age 40
  3. Lucky number and why 30..I was born on the 30th, so was two of my nieces. 30 dollars is good to have..
  4. Kids (names and ages) one daughter, Cate Clemeaux (pronounce Clahh-Moe) born June 20,2009
  5. What is your go-to online handle and why? I’ve always studied Queens and well, the most famous Queens are named Elizabeth so…
  6. Married? his/her name and how long have you been together?  Husband-Frank. started dating 19998, married since 2001
  7. Siblings? tell us  3 Brothers, Richard, Ryan and Joshua (all younger)
  8. Aunt/Uncle? brag.. Aunt to 4 nieces and 3 nephews. Also a gaggle of Godchildren
  9. Career Registrar at local hospital
  10. Nickname Honey, Liz, Dink, Nona, Nonie, Queenie
  11. Favorite band/singer favorite band is Def Leppard (saw them 13 times in concert and met them in 2002) I also love Queen, Heart, Prince, Pink and Sarah Brightman
  12. Favorite song Torn to Shreds by Def Leppard. Under pressure by Queen, Hallelujah sung by Canadian Tenors. Who Knew by Pink. Show me how to love you by Sarah Brightman
  13. Tattoos? how many/of what/why?  a crown on my left forearm with my daughter’s name on it (because she is MY queen) many more I’d like to get
  14. Favorite time of day I always enjoyed twilight, after dinner but before bed.
  15. What the hell do you look like? 5’8″ red hair and blue eyes, a ton of freckles
  16. What phrase/song lyric/quote really speaks to you Rise and Rise again, until lambs become lions. “Stand before the Lord of Song with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah” Walk with the angels
  17. What is the biggest struggle in your life having anxiety attacks
  18. Name the 3 best moments in your life 1. birth of my daughter 2. getting married 3. meeting Def Leppard
  19. Name the 3 worst moments in your life 1. losing my dad 2. telling my beloved godchildren their father was dead 3. being sexually assaulted by a man I knew
  20. What character flaw in other people do you detest the most One uppers. People who listen to your stories and always have a ‘better’ story or accomplishment.
  21. What was the single thing about becoming a parent that surprised you the most? How unbelievably brave it makes you. I hate confrontation but I would kill for my kid if she was in danger.
  22. Can you spot crazy in others immediately? how? You can usually spot crazy by how much they say to you upon meeting them. I met a girl once, who was dating a friend of mine. Within 5 minutes of meeting she was telling me about an abortion her ex-husband forced her to have. I was like ‘Who the fuck are you again?’ oh yeah, You’re Crazy!
  23. What causes you to block other people on social media (i.e. Facebook/Twitter/instagram etc) I block people who post their tragedies for attention, or act like ‘internet panhandlers’ (here’s my amazon wish list you guise!) bullies, the usual snarky fucks that don’t bring the funny
  24. 5 famous dead people are coming to dinner, who are they? Henry VIII, Queen Elizabeth the First, Freddie Mercury, Jacquetta Woodville, King Edward I
  25. Can you sing? No
  26. What do you consider your talents?  I like to think that I’m funny and I’m good at making people laugh, pep talks, comforting people.
  27. Name 3 major fears Something happening to my daughter or my family. Blood and Praying mantis
  28. Who is your best friend? Erica, since we were 12 and still going strong
  29. Favorite animal and why I love lions and horses because of the majestic beauty and power
  30. Most prized possession an inherited ring I got from my parents courtship, he gave my mother a ‘promise ring’
  31. Favorite movie(s) Gladiator, Elizabeth, anne of a thousand days, Skyfall, Goodfellas, Casino, Elizabeth the Virgin Queen, Henry VIII
  32. If I caught you with your nose in a book, what kind is it? historical fiction
  33. Favorite book Lady of the Rivers by Phillipa Gregory
  34. Favorite color Pink
  35. First heartbreak Peter Ruddell told me when I was 12, that he didn’t like me ‘that way’
  36. That one friend you wished you still talked to My friend Jessica, she fell into drugs and I had to cut ties with her. I still miss her
  37. If you could live anywhere in the world…where? England
  38. (for married women) did you keep your wedding gown? No
  39. Do you feel online friendships are ‘real’ friendships?  I do, because I actually have to work at them with texting, tweeting and messaging.
  40. do you believe in Karma? I do
  41. Naps? Every Saturday afternoon
  42. The celebrity you hate with the heat of a thousand suns? Leann Rimes
  43. If you could visit any period in history, when and where? 1500’s in England
  44. Coffin or cremated? Cremated
  45. What is your earliest memory? about 3, playing out back of our house with the little boy that lived across the driveway
  46. What song can make you cry? Amazing Grace by the Celtic Women
  47. What store do you like your gift certificates from? Target!
  48. Who really makes you laugh? my husband and my brother Joshua. A lot of my twitter followers make me laugh really hard. Ron Bennington
  49. Have you ever met anyone famous? Do tell… I met Def Leppard and got a kiss from Phil Collen their guitarist. I got a Retweet on twitter from Russell Crowe
  50. <insert random question of your own and answer it>
  51. My random question “Favorite swear word” Shithead and ‘What the high blue fuck”




Fat Shaming and other ways we ‘troll’ ourselves

Here we go again with the social media thing…..ugh.


A person I know put up on a social media site a picture of herself, looking beautiful, and not in the ‘I’m her friend and I think she’s beautiful’ type of way. I mean she’s gorgeous. She’s healthy and fit, in no way over weight, everything about her screamed loveliness. Her caption ‘Ate a salad because y’know….fat’

I blinked. If she was fat, I shudder to think of what I must look like. In fat shaming herself, she inadvertently fat shamed me. I have an actual weight issue. I am setting things in motion to correct this problem. But since I have a daughter, I have decided to not shame my body, regardless of what I think, out loud. I don’t comment to her, on what I think about my body. My daughter tells me I’m beautiful and that my ‘big’ butt is beautiful too. Her 5 year old mind is simple in it’s meaning of the word ‘big’. It’s not a slander it’s a compliment. Because in her thinking ‘having big toys is good, having a big cookie is good, so having a big butt is awesome!!” So me and my beautiful big butt are enjoying the praises of my daughter. She’s not permitted to use words like ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ because those words do not apply to anyone we know or love, ourselves included. I’m trying to instill a good body image and the idea that she can love her body, regardless of what she thinks it’s flaws are, as long as she remains healthy; which I (and my husband) demonstrate by trying to eat healthy and going to the doctors. My weight issues are my own and I’m dealing with them on my own.


My friend’s post got me to thinking that it amazes me how many women (and sometimes men) troll ourselves. I’ve seen more then one woman put up a picture and caption it with ‘ugly’ then sit back and wait for all the disagreements to come pouring in. As if ‘owning’ their faults takes the argument out of anyone who might comment something negative. The adolescent mentality of ‘I-already-said-I-was-ugly’ is just so ridiculous. How is this improving our self esteem? Why do we view people we love with rose colored glasses but not ourselves? A shame really. I’m guilty of it too. I cringe when I try on a shirt that accentuates rather then hides my tummy, but my daughter says ‘You look so pretty mommy!” and then my mother agrees with her.

In my quest to improve my physical appearance, I think I’ve started to love myself at every size I’ve been. I don’t put up pictures and label myself as ugly or fat because my best friend wouldn’t do that to me so why should I? And if people on social media want to mock my appearance, well they can fuck right off. I like myself. I’m working hard to improve things I don’t like and learning to love all of me. And besides, my daughter is right, my big butt is awesome! So listen up people, STOP TROLLING YOURSELVES!






The Fez Chronicles

Let me preface this entry by saying ‘these are only my opinions, I have come to these conclusions based on the evidence presented to me (i.e. as hear on that radio show) I have never met Fez or Ron.


A lot of you that are listeners of the Ron and Fez show are painfully aware that Fez ‘has issues’ (which is putting it hilariously mild) I am viewed as being vastly critical of Fez based on my tweets. This is true. But here is why.


Fez is not ‘mentally ill’ but ‘emotionally ill.’ He is clinically depressed (which he has admitted) but what a lot of people don’t understand that depression comes with a lot of symptoms that go beyond what the drug commercials warn us of.

Depression and general anxiety is usually experienced by everyone at one time or another. In my experience it usually becomes lifestyle altering due to a trauma. I know this because mine began in 1997 due to an emotional trauma.

Typically, depression and anxiety come with the ‘usual’ symptoms…

  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Joint pain
  • Fatigue
  • Loss of pleasure in hobbies
  • Thoughts of suicide
  • Panic attacks


What they don’t tell you about is the extreme paranoia that comes with depression.

Fez is extremely paranoid. But not in the cocaine fueled paranoia most people joke about. (the-dog-would-have-barked–if-someone-was-at-the-door kind of thing)

Fez is paranoid that people are ‘out to get him’ in the jokes they make. And because Fez is so depressed that he can no longer laugh at himself, and then everyone must be laughing at him right?

I’ve listened to him go off on wild contrary opinions about things he has obviously done zero research on, and when beginning to lose a discussion, he turns that person’s stance into a personal attack on himself (i.e. homophobia)

I get frustrated with Fez because his tolerance for misery is astounding. It’s almost as if he enjoys his misery. And when something physically happens to him (another heart attack or his back problems) He feels safe in those physical ailments because it garners him sympathy (which he wants) and it gives him a break from, what he perceives, is emotional attacks on his life or opinions. (Who would mock out a guy who had a heart attack, really?)


If you go back and listen to Ron and Fez shows from even 2008 you will see a vast difference in Fez.

Back then, Fez never minded the jokes about him and his assumed lifestyle. He made himself the butt of jokes and laughed right along with people. Now he just screams his opinion with no knowledge and weeps when he imagines he’s being attacked.


Fez has to get sick of the misery. Get sick of being depressed and fight it. Pills and therapy can only help so much. It’s a daily struggle to keep that paranoia at bay. It’s a lifetime of working to remain emotionally healthy. If you want to be emotionally strong and ‘be funny’ again, you have to fight to be that way. No shrink is going to make you better Fez, only you are.

I’m not talking out of my ass here either. I struggle, sometimes painfully, every single day to keep that darkness out. I use the coping skills I was taught in therapy and work on staying emotionally healthy, for myself and for my daughter and husband. To be the best I can possibly be. It can be done.


Rant over





We are all a little Norma Jean


I’ve always kind of liked Marilyn Monroe. My grandmother and sister in law were always big fans of hers. I am more of an Elizabeth Taylor fan but upon meeting my friend Lindsay (who is a die hard MM fan) I decided to borrow an audio book from my local library called ‘The secret life of Marilyn Monroe’ to find out exactly what Marilyn’s story was.

I was thunderstruck at what I heard. From the moment Norma Jean Mortensen was born till the day Marilyn Monroe died, no life could have been harder. She came from extremely humble beginnings to become the most famous (and infamous) woman in the world. Marilyn Monroe is always associated with beauty and glamour. In her 36 years on this earth she has inspired many a career (I’m looking at you Madonna) and emblazoned our minds with an achievable sense of beauty.

Yet I’m always shocked when someone calls her a whore.

Marilyn operated at a different level then most of us. She came of age in a time when women were expected to get married, have kids and keep the house. Marilyn didn’t exactly fit into this stereotype. But she tried. And I’m guess because she failed she was labeled a whore. She made bad decisions, dated the wrong men, drank a little too much and popped too many pills. Oh, and she had sex with more then one man in her lifetime.

I noticed that people who don’t like Marilyn immediately label her as a pill popping drug addict. Now that I’ve heard more of her story, I’m inclined to think those people, who are always screaming that Marilyn didn’t actually say all those things the memes say she did, see a little of themselves in flawed people. Anything that doesn’t capture our interest, or annoys us, we look for a flaw and exploit it. These people think that telling young women not to make Marilyn Monroe their role model are a little misguided. Marilyn is a role model and a dire warning. She created a sense of romantic sexuality without being obscene. She proved you could be sexy, beautiful and flawed but still be loved. Her weakness is what drew people to her. Her mistakes reflect back to us how flawed we all are, and remind us that even the best of us have made awful mistakes. I’m sure if our lives were played out on a public stage, like Marilyn’s were, we would be so quick to judge others. Marilyn paid the ultimate price for the life she chose to live. But I don’t think we can condemn her, without learning from her.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, Marilyn’s story struck a chord in me. Reminded me of all those flawed people I love and continue to love despite their mistakes. Just the way my friends and family continue to love me, despite my shortcomings.

I fell in love with Marilyn today, but only because I see Norma Jean in me.