Here we go again with the social media thing…..ugh.
A person I know put up on a social media site a picture of herself, looking beautiful, and not in the ‘I’m her friend and I think she’s beautiful’ type of way. I mean she’s gorgeous. She’s healthy and fit, in no way over weight, everything about her screamed loveliness. Her caption ‘Ate a salad because y’know….fat’
I blinked. If she was fat, I shudder to think of what I must look like. In fat shaming herself, she inadvertently fat shamed me. I have an actual weight issue. I am setting things in motion to correct this problem. But since I have a daughter, I have decided to not shame my body, regardless of what I think, out loud. I don’t comment to her, on what I think about my body. My daughter tells me I’m beautiful and that my ‘big’ butt is beautiful too. Her 5 year old mind is simple in it’s meaning of the word ‘big’. It’s not a slander it’s a compliment. Because in her thinking ‘having big toys is good, having a big cookie is good, so having a big butt is awesome!!” So me and my beautiful big butt are enjoying the praises of my daughter. She’s not permitted to use words like ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ because those words do not apply to anyone we know or love, ourselves included. I’m trying to instill a good body image and the idea that she can love her body, regardless of what she thinks it’s flaws are, as long as she remains healthy; which I (and my husband) demonstrate by trying to eat healthy and going to the doctors. My weight issues are my own and I’m dealing with them on my own.
My friend’s post got me to thinking that it amazes me how many women (and sometimes men) troll ourselves. I’ve seen more then one woman put up a picture and caption it with ‘ugly’ then sit back and wait for all the disagreements to come pouring in. As if ‘owning’ their faults takes the argument out of anyone who might comment something negative. The adolescent mentality of ‘I-already-said-I-was-ugly’ is just so ridiculous. How is this improving our self esteem? Why do we view people we love with rose colored glasses but not ourselves? A shame really. I’m guilty of it too. I cringe when I try on a shirt that accentuates rather then hides my tummy, but my daughter says ‘You look so pretty mommy!” and then my mother agrees with her.
In my quest to improve my physical appearance, I think I’ve started to love myself at every size I’ve been. I don’t put up pictures and label myself as ugly or fat because my best friend wouldn’t do that to me so why should I? And if people on social media want to mock my appearance, well they can fuck right off. I like myself. I’m working hard to improve things I don’t like and learning to love all of me. And besides, my daughter is right, my big butt is awesome! So listen up people, STOP TROLLING YOURSELVES!
Cheers
~QE
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