This blog was created when Opie announced he and his wife Lynsi were pregnant with their first child. On June 29, 2012, Opie announced blurted out they were expecting baby number 2 and very soon! Better yet it is with a girl. Bahahahahaha. Ahh girls. Vaginas, wedding dresses, tampons, training bras, drama, best friends, prom dresses, nail polish, drama, feminism, body image, perverts, pink, Barbies, and did I mention drama?! In all seriousness, I am so happy for Opie, Lynsi, and Hudson. Nothing brings more joy then adding a new member to the family. I am gonna make this all about me for a minute and hope she is born on my daughter’s birthday. Ahem, August 27, cough cough.
My husband and I didn’t find out the sex of our kids when I was pregnant, and I was terrified of having a girl, which is of course what I ended up with. 2 of ’em. On 2 different days, almost 18 months apart. I was a tomboy growing up, which is part of the reason I was petrified of having girls. I don’t know anything about being girlie! Except maybe what tampons to buy and giving blow jobs, both of which do not help them at really any point in their lives. But you know what? Looking back on it, I have actually forgot what the fuck I was so worried about.
I don’t have a son, so I don’t know about the father-son and mother-son relationship, but from my experience there is nothing like the father-daughter and mother-daughter bond. The moment they wrap their little fingers around your pinky, you feel this overwhelming sense of protection, motivation, and stress. You watch “16 and Pregnant” and see perfectly normal parents becoming grandparents. You scream at the tv, “They did everything right and this shit still happened?! Fuck!” You constantly pray that skimpy bikinis and shorts that barely cover asses are out of style by the time your girls reaches puberty. You start putting a lot of stress on yourself to raise a strong, confident woman so they don’t end up at the Compound. But at the same time you want to raise them to keep their femininity and not lose the warmth and caring attitude girls have.
Again, I have 2 daughters (ages 3 and 2) and I think I can offer some poor advice on some of positives about having girls. I don’t have to deal with piss on the floor, but I will eventually have to deal with bloody tampons, cramps, and PMS. Probably both girls at once. Lovely. I don’t have to deal with little boy boners, but as Kevin from the “The League” says ‘When you have a son, you only have to worry about 1 dick. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the dicks.’ Couldn’t have said it better myself. I don’t have to deal with boys pulling on their little pricks and whipping them out in public but digging in vulvas isn’t much better. Or when your 3 year old strips out of her swimming suit and streaks around the swimming pool. Guess who that happened to?! Mortifying.
I guess being a parent is stressful no matter if you have boys or girls. I know first hand little girls are sweet, helpful, nurturing, energetic, creative, and can be total cunts, but they will always be our little girls 🙂
Congrats to Opie and Lynsi on the upcoming birth of their precious daughter. And an additional congrats on this being the first girl on Lynsi’s side of the family since Lynsi. Something to truly celebrate 🙂
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