Parenthood Archive

I am mom…hear me bully

Motherhood today is not quite the same as motherhood in previous times. We mothers have a new knitting circle, a new book club, a completely new place to interact with others of similar ilk.

Social Media

Facebook, twitter and instagram are all the new medium in which mothers can gossip, interact and exchange advice with each other.

We also bully each other.

Bullying has come to the forefront in society since school shootings, the LGBT movement and teen suicides have been thrust into our faces by way of news and social media. We are much more aware of how bullies are using social media to fling their abuse at their victims without leaving the comfort of their parents basement.

But moms do it too. We bully. But unlike our teenage counterparts, we are much more subtle.

It’s something I’ve notice more and more since I’ve been involved online. A mom will put up a picture of her child sitting in bed with the nightlight on and a ‘I’m not tired’ smile on their face. Then it starts

“He’s still awake? I would just turn off the light and let him cry it out”
Ugh.

What is it in our subconscious that makes us spew out our opinion like its gospel? What is the point of ‘telling it like it is’ to the point of hurting people’s feelings? To bully them into thinking that our way of doing things is the only possible way of doing it? Now social media has provided us the stage to which we can all perform for every person we accept a friend request from then listen and read all their critiques on everything I choose to share with them.

Nearly everyone I am friends with on Facebook or Twitter has a child; and at some point has shared a story (whether good or bad) about their child. Some are funny, others are sad, some are downright horrifying. What is perfectly normal to do in one household may seem crazy in another. But unless the safety of the child is at risk, it’s none of my business. I don’t offer an opinion unless asked. I don’t judge someone’s situation. If I think their post or status update seems weird or bizarre I refrain from commenting.

Example, I am in the final stages of potty training my 4 year old. She is stubborn with going #2 on the toilet. I have decided for the sake of MY sanity not to mention this on Facebook because I know what will happen. I will be bullied about it.

“My ****** was fully potty trained at 22 months.” ~oh yeah? but I’ve heard your little angel cusses like a sailor

“I guess it’s because you are a working mom that you don’t have the time to devote to training her” ~The Guilt trip agent trying to book me for a vacation…no thanks

and my personal favorite

“what you gotta do is……” Followed by a *surefire way to potty train my daughter because it worked on their child.

No Thank you!

For most of us moms, we are struggling to do the best possible job we can. We love our kids and want to raise them to be healthy happy people. But we make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Social media is an outlet to vent our frustrations and perhaps get a little sympathy. We don’t need to be told in our facebook status exactly how to get my daughter to poop on the potty or how to keep our kids from destroying our sanity because they want to sing the entire song catalog from Bubble Guppies over and over while I’m on the phone with my bank.

Sometimes we just need a simple ‘lol’ or ‘stay strong momma-I know what you are going through!”

Everyone needs to find their own way until we can all meet in the middle.

Maybe for drinks

Cheers!
QE

Summer left; Homework and Fall await…

Throwback Photo 8'06: Someone captured photo of me very pregnant at walkover. 3 days later I gave birth.

Throwback Photo 8’06: Someone captured photo of me very pregnant at walkover. 3 days later I gave birth.

The return of moi

Hey kids, @momsforopie here, 7 years+ after the photo to the left was taken.  Whew, time flies…  Just wanted to check in with you all and share a little update on cool stuff I’ve read, and things that manage to circumnavigate the cobwebs in my head into consciousness.  I felt so guilty about not keeping this blog alive I took it out of my twitter bio, but I’m renewed in my faith to keep this blog going, all because this other crazy blogger (@kfrey13) has been gracious to contribute her musings here as well. She’s my twin separated at birth, my liver feels it when she drinks too much wine and my arm twitches when something pisses her off.

Kids still alive, wine consumption steadied

Last I left you I think I had 3 kids, well I still have 3, and a long suffering husband.  I’m in a new stage of life now, this blog post from “rants from mommyland” pretty much depicts this “sweet spot” where the kids are out of diapers, they are self sufficient, you can breathe a little.  A great post to celebrate that short time before the teen years hit.  Yes, it gets easier, and it’s kinda nice. You don’t have to worry about them running out onto the street as much anymore.

Yes it is still a roller coaster, rolling thunderesque (RIP rickety roller coaster by the way)  especially when you have kids with different opinions on what is fun, and what should the family do for fun on the weekend.  Usually we just tell them what we are doing and let them express their dismay or happiness.  The disapproving kid(s) get over it and often have a good time.  Nothing is ever perfect, so if you are reading this and contemplating kids, please know that the whole kid thing is just made up of really big highs and really low lows.. That is the case with our family.  I think Billy Joel’s “I go to extremes” represents my middle kid.

Summer’s End

Yep that’s it, so long BBQ, Robin Thicke song, carnivals and endless laundry of swimsuits and towels, the end of summer 2013 has occurred. Before we say goodbye to Thicke, check out this awesome parody called “Lame Lines”.  Well done chicas.

Oh and don’t forget this one that just popped up. Travis Tefft (winner of 2011 babysitting poll, see article here) tweeted this vid link when O&A mentioned it.

What does the Fox Say? I thought it was pretty funny, kids did too, but not as hysterical as I thought for kids who still believe in Santa. I really hope I didn’t damage them now.

They still think the Sponge Bob movie ending is the funniest thing ever. Can’t embed this one, here’s the link, see if your kids think so too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIPNRwf0mzU

Fall Stuff to Look Forward To

What do you look forward to in the fall? I’m looking forward to some peace and quiet, domestic rearranging and getting back in touch with friends.  Kids in school will give me an opportunity to reach out to some good friends I’ve lost touch with.  Also speaking of friends, let’s not forget the new ones, I can’t wait for the event below where I get to meet some of my favorite twitter people.  I’m bringing my long suffering husband too.  Also can’t forget about daughter’s upcoming youtube as flower girl, that should be good. Cause who in their right mind would let a tantrum-proned 4yo be in a wedding? HOLLA! Pray for us..

NYC area- Saturday Afternoon Benefit for Narc Zito- Oct 11 (2-5PM) with Otto & George, Reverend Bob Levy and Big Jay Oakerson

Click here for tickets and info

For more details check out this post about the event! Folks, it really is for a good cause.  Narc Zito is a young father of 2 who just got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and is a fighter. He wants to keep things upbeat, so I will just add that you could make a difference by supporting the cause.  Here’s the website if you’d like to learn more.

Parting Words

If you were bored and took a minute to examine the chaos of my twitter timeline, you will find more boredom as well as what inspires me.  To share with you that side, I thought this was a pretty cool “buddhist” kind of article.

An excerpt: “Clear away the small minded and limiting ideas of who you are that keep you bound and feeling small, hopeless, even unworthy. You already have everything — everything you need to be you. In the present moment, you have very clear goals. There is much to be done as you are right now.”

So this is the part of my genetic makeup that enjoys Oprah’s soul series, but no worries, I still have the huge part that enjoys O&A.

Namaste.

Shit, I have to make 3 lunches for school now..

“I went to look at monster.com for fun…. That wasn’t fun… Back to housework and watching the kids. #uselesscollegedegree” @MomsForOpie

First of all, @momsforopie rules. She started this blog, and provides a lot of great parenting links on twitter that don’t include the pros of breastfeeding, rear facing car seats, and the benefits of an anti-gluten, vegan, anti-lactoseseulose diet.

Secondly, I’m back bitches. (No one cares) I always wanted blogging to be a regular thing but had a rough time starting. Blah blah blah you don’t want to hear my excuses. Look for a new post here every Wednesday when I attempt to be provocative and funny. (No one cares) And if you have a second check out my main blog, The Surly Housewife. (No once cares)

Some housewives like to give themselves cutsy little job titles like mommy, domestic engineer, CEO of the Asshole Family, Household management specialist, Chief Home Executive, and my fav Executive Director of Household Management. I am not excluded from this. My employer on fb is titled as Jason Frey Inc. This is purely for my own amusement, to piss of uber feminists, and to elude to the fact that I’m a whore. I sleep with a man for room and board. Too far? I find myself amusing and that is all that matters. To each his own I guess. Along with the annoyingly cutesy job titles, housewives like to list all the other occupations they perform during the long ass fucking days alone with children. However, my translations of these jobs probably won’t lead to a new line of work any time soon.

Hi! I'm Katie and I'm the exeofTheWhoGivesAFuck!
        Hi! I’m Katie and I’m the exeofTheWhoGivesAFuckFamily!

Team Leader aka Giving directions to people who have no fucking interest in following them.

Plumber aka Plunging toliets after a three year old takes a monster dump that requires 7 wet wipes to clean up.

Housekeeper aka Cleaning up after people for the rest. of. my. life.

Chef aka Getting snacks for people 7,382 times a day.

Talent Scout aka Pretending to pay attention to “Look at this!”

Nurse aka Looking at scrapes and assuring them they are not in fact dying.

Security aka Not beating the piss out of your child when she says you have a big butt in a public bathroom.

Personal Assistant aka Lying about the time

Music Director aka Blasting Iron Madien so your children can dance while you can scream into a pillow

Babysitter aka Pretending to lose and/or cheat at go fish

Cow aka Keeping milk in the house, breast or otherwise, for the the past 5 years.

Personal Shopper aka Perusing Facebook “for sale” groups for clothes your children will need in 5 years.

Seamstress aka thinking about learning to sew. Pinning things to sew. Remembering “Oh yeah. I can’t fucking sew.”

Driver aka Taking children somewhere, anywhere on God’s green earth that will tire them out.

Dry Cleaner aka Cleaning up skid marks

Teacher aka Bullshiting your way through an explanation of why ants build ant hills.

Gardener aka Can’t afford a gardener so I have to do it my damn self.

Animal Wrangler aka Hoping I remember to feed and water the animals

Librarian/story teller aka Reading “A Very Hungry Catepillar” through grited teeth.

Coach aka Giving yourself a pep talk about once a day that you have made the right decision in becoming a housewife. Then you take a nap.