Motherhood today is not quite the same as motherhood in previous times. We mothers have a new knitting circle, a new book club, a completely new place to interact with others of similar ilk.
Facebook, twitter and instagram are all the new medium in which mothers can gossip, interact and exchange advice with each other.
We also bully each other.
Bullying has come to the forefront in society since school shootings, the LGBT movement and teen suicides have been thrust into our faces by way of news and social media. We are much more aware of how bullies are using social media to fling their abuse at their victims without leaving the comfort of their parents basement.
But moms do it too. We bully. But unlike our teenage counterparts, we are much more subtle.
It’s something I’ve notice more and more since I’ve been involved online. A mom will put up a picture of her child sitting in bed with the nightlight on and a ‘I’m not tired’ smile on their face. Then it starts
“He’s still awake? I would just turn off the light and let him cry it out”
What is it in our subconscious that makes us spew out our opinion like its gospel? What is the point of ‘telling it like it is’ to the point of hurting people’s feelings? To bully them into thinking that our way of doing things is the only possible way of doing it? Now social media has provided us the stage to which we can all perform for every person we accept a friend request from then listen and read all their critiques on everything I choose to share with them.
Nearly everyone I am friends with on Facebook or Twitter has a child; and at some point has shared a story (whether good or bad) about their child. Some are funny, others are sad, some are downright horrifying. What is perfectly normal to do in one household may seem crazy in another. But unless the safety of the child is at risk, it’s none of my business. I don’t offer an opinion unless asked. I don’t judge someone’s situation. If I think their post or status update seems weird or bizarre I refrain from commenting.
Example, I am in the final stages of potty training my 4 year old. She is stubborn with going #2 on the toilet. I have decided for the sake of MY sanity not to mention this on Facebook because I know what will happen. I will be bullied about it.
“My ****** was fully potty trained at 22 months.” ~oh yeah? but I’ve heard your little angel cusses like a sailor
“I guess it’s because you are a working mom that you don’t have the time to devote to training her” ~The Guilt trip agent trying to book me for a vacation…no thanks
and my personal favorite
“what you gotta do is……” Followed by a *surefire way to potty train my daughter because it worked on their child.
No Thank you!
For most of us moms, we are struggling to do the best possible job we can. We love our kids and want to raise them to be healthy happy people. But we make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Social media is an outlet to vent our frustrations and perhaps get a little sympathy. We don’t need to be told in our facebook status exactly how to get my daughter to poop on the potty or how to keep our kids from destroying our sanity because they want to sing the entire song catalog from Bubble Guppies over and over while I’m on the phone with my bank.
Sometimes we just need a simple ‘lol’ or ‘stay strong momma-I know what you are going through!”
Everyone needs to find their own way until we can all meet in the middle.
Maybe for drinks