Monthly Archive:: October 2013

Can I get plastic surgery before the Tweet up?

I am going to a ‘tweet-up’ on Saturday. A tweet up is a meeting of people who you follow on Twitter. In most cases you only have a virtual relationship with these people. You communicate through tweets, emails, texts and sometimes *gasp* you speak on the phone. Your relationship with your ‘virtual’ friends is a lot harder than with some of your IRL (In Real Life) friends. Mainly because you actually have to work at communicating with them. In some ways, you can actually know a virtual friend better because it is easier to pour your story out to a profile picture rather than a real person. You don’t have to look them in the eye, you don’t see the weird quirk of their eyebrows when you tell them that horrible story from the 5th grade when your wrap around skirt untied while simultaneously tripping at recess, showing your Wonder Woman underoos to the entire class. (see how easy that was?) You are forced to reveal yourself at your own pace and be accepted and rejected at theirs. And if things get too heated, the ‘Power down’ options is close at hand. Computer off…virtual friends go *poof*

Oh but then there is a Tweet up. You are actually going to meet all these people. Not just a photo, not just words, a real live person!

Then the panic sets in.

What if they don’t like me? What if I physically repulse them? What if they say nothing and all ‘unfollow’ me the second I leave.
“I can see why her #FatLadytweets are so hilarious”

But then I remember….the reason for the Tweet up.

It’s a benefit to help my fellow tweeter @NarcZito

So regardless of my anxiety at meeting new people, I must remember that I’m sure my friend Will would give anything to have this problem. This simple stupid problem of my ego and pride, rather than the battle he is facing.

So whether you like me or not on Saturday, I will be there, for Will.


    ‘Rise and Rise again, until lambs become lions’

Oh, I’ve noticed that she’s a noticer (and other goofy stuff)

Editor’s Note:  Thrilled to have @queenelisabeth contributing to our blog!  For more blog posts from the queen, click here

‘Live your life thinking any moment, something magical is about to happen’

Then my alarm clock goes off and real life starts to happen.

I recently read a blog about a woman with Type A personality that decided to stop telling her 4 year old daughter ‘Hurry up’. The reason being that her daughter like to take her time doing things. The mother couldn’t understand why the daughter wanted to stop and smell the roses. So one day, Mom has an epiphany and ‘wham’ no more ‘hurry up’ in her vocabulary. Her daughter was a ‘noticer’ and she was going to let her ‘notice’ everything and not rush her.

Her alarm clock has yet to go off. But thankfully, mine has.

I get what this mom is saying, her daughter (and most 4 ,5,6 year olds) like to take in the world around them. Pet the dogs, feel the rain on their face and ask 60 million questions from here to the grocery store in the space of 35 minutes. We, parents, want our child to absorb the world around them, to see and understand and perhaps gain a better understanding of things then we, the adults, ever will. My child~the philosopher.

But let’s get real.

As much as I want my daughter to be better than I am (which hopefully she will be) does allowing her to take her jolly good time getting from the house to the car really give her better childhood memories and experiences? How about it’s pissing down rain and Mommy needs to get you to your doctor’s appointment in 10 minutes. You need to get your ass in the car and pontificate about the brilliance of rain later! Are we bad mothers because we force our children to be considerate of the people around us, not to mention *gasp* the mothers and fathers who are, for lack of a better term, running this show?

I guess because I do tell my daughter to ‘hurry up’ that this blog post felt insulting to me. I would love to let my daughter hear and observe everything that catches her attention. I want her to think long and deep about the world around her; to love it, to want to make it better, to understand everything.

But I really need to deposit this check before the bank closes…so let’s go!!!

I feel like this mother is trying to manufacture these magical moments with her child by simple allowing her daughter to dictate the pace of everyone else’s life.

“Oh no, we can’t hurry, Britney is trying to decide exactly what shape the clouds are making.”

C’mon now.

My child is figuring out things faster than I can teach it to her. She observes, she drinks it all in and asks plenty of questions. But she also knows that when I say ‘Let’s roll’ she moves.

But, with all this being said, Kids do need time to just check the world out. I like watching my daughter watching people. Asking about different things and giving me her reasoning on things she has seen or heard. I could listen all day to her 4 year old philosophy. But I also want to raise a child that although she may have her head in the clouds, she’s got her feet firmly on the ground. She should know that there are time schedules and appointments. Walking around with no regard to anyone else’s time is not only inconsiderate, it’s rude.

Take it all in child, but keep moving.

I am mom…hear me bully

Motherhood today is not quite the same as motherhood in previous times. We mothers have a new knitting circle, a new book club, a completely new place to interact with others of similar ilk.

Social Media

Facebook, twitter and instagram are all the new medium in which mothers can gossip, interact and exchange advice with each other.

We also bully each other.

Bullying has come to the forefront in society since school shootings, the LGBT movement and teen suicides have been thrust into our faces by way of news and social media. We are much more aware of how bullies are using social media to fling their abuse at their victims without leaving the comfort of their parents basement.

But moms do it too. We bully. But unlike our teenage counterparts, we are much more subtle.

It’s something I’ve notice more and more since I’ve been involved online. A mom will put up a picture of her child sitting in bed with the nightlight on and a ‘I’m not tired’ smile on their face. Then it starts

“He’s still awake? I would just turn off the light and let him cry it out”

What is it in our subconscious that makes us spew out our opinion like its gospel? What is the point of ‘telling it like it is’ to the point of hurting people’s feelings? To bully them into thinking that our way of doing things is the only possible way of doing it? Now social media has provided us the stage to which we can all perform for every person we accept a friend request from then listen and read all their critiques on everything I choose to share with them.

Nearly everyone I am friends with on Facebook or Twitter has a child; and at some point has shared a story (whether good or bad) about their child. Some are funny, others are sad, some are downright horrifying. What is perfectly normal to do in one household may seem crazy in another. But unless the safety of the child is at risk, it’s none of my business. I don’t offer an opinion unless asked. I don’t judge someone’s situation. If I think their post or status update seems weird or bizarre I refrain from commenting.

Example, I am in the final stages of potty training my 4 year old. She is stubborn with going #2 on the toilet. I have decided for the sake of MY sanity not to mention this on Facebook because I know what will happen. I will be bullied about it.

“My ****** was fully potty trained at 22 months.” ~oh yeah? but I’ve heard your little angel cusses like a sailor

“I guess it’s because you are a working mom that you don’t have the time to devote to training her” ~The Guilt trip agent trying to book me for a vacation…no thanks

and my personal favorite

“what you gotta do is……” Followed by a *surefire way to potty train my daughter because it worked on their child.

No Thank you!

For most of us moms, we are struggling to do the best possible job we can. We love our kids and want to raise them to be healthy happy people. But we make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Social media is an outlet to vent our frustrations and perhaps get a little sympathy. We don’t need to be told in our facebook status exactly how to get my daughter to poop on the potty or how to keep our kids from destroying our sanity because they want to sing the entire song catalog from Bubble Guppies over and over while I’m on the phone with my bank.

Sometimes we just need a simple ‘lol’ or ‘stay strong momma-I know what you are going through!”

Everyone needs to find their own way until we can all meet in the middle.

Maybe for drinks


Enjoy comedy with Otto & George, while your spouse takes the kid(s) to something fun (October 19th, 2013 Sat, 2-5PM at the Bitter End)

Thinking of traveling to NYC with the family, but you want to get some solo time for raunchy comedy fun?  Look no more…  October 19th’s Narc Zito benefit from 2-5PM may be the best solution. 
147 Bleecker St. NYC- (The Bitter End) – Saturday Afternoon Benefit for Narc Zito- Oct 19 (2-5PM) with Otto & George, Reverend Bob Levy and Big Jay Oakerson (*update, new comics added!!! Joe Conte and Mike Bocchetti)

Click here for tickets and info

For more details check out this post about the event!  Here’s the website if you’d like to learn more about the cause.

Divide and Conquer

So if you are considering going to the benefit, but bringing the family, NYC has plenty to do on the 10/19th for kids while you and your spouse divide and conquer. Need a stroller? No worries you can rent one from one of these companies. Want to know the subways with elevators?  (by the way the west 4th st. stop right by the bitter end has an elevator) Here’s a great link for all the subways that have them.

Shows for Kids on 10/19

Let the babysitter/parent and kids check out “Me and My Shadow” at 3PM at the New Victory Theater on 42nd Street! Synopsis:  “It’s giggles galore when one young girl befriends a particularly sly and silly fellow—her shadow. A whimsical story about friendship, this clever and charming play will delight audiences In this playground of paper, light, music and magic, ME AND MY SHADOW ignites imaginations and tickles the fancy of little theatergoers in this big theater space.” Click here for more details….

Or if shadows aren’t your thing, check out a production of Oscar Wilde’s, “The Selfish Giant” that is playing only 3.5 blocks away on 115 MacDougal Street.  Actually this is a better choice if you want to stay close! Also one hour before performance they have a free family workshop.

From the website:

” ‘Preserves Wilde’s fairy-tale setting while infusing it with humor’ – New York Times

Can the laughter of a child melt the cold heart of a selfish giant? Yes it can! This adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s beautiful fairytale will warm the hearts of young and old alike.

Join us for a very special journey inside the mind of Oscar Wilde – follow him as he leads us into the tale of The Selfish Giant. Watch as we transform the stage from literally nothing into the magical land of Wilde’s imagination. At once you will see the show come to life before your eyes while getting a rare glimpse of the show behind the show.”

Saturday Matinees at 11a & 3p.  Check out the link for more information and tickets…

Playgrounds Nearby

Minetta Playground is located on 6th Ave. between Minetta Lane and 3rd Street.

From Google Street View (Minetta Playground)

From Google Street View (Minetta Playground)

Washington Square Park is very popular for people watching, and in the heart of NYU, with a kids’ playground as well.

From “Trekaroo” website: Playground at Washington Square Park

Festivals Prior to Show

11AM-2PM at Madison Park (near Madison Avenue and East 23rd St.) is a cool Fall Festival- From website: “It’s been a wonderful Mad. Sq. Kids season, and we’ve saved the best for last! Bring your favorite l’il ones for a day of free fun in Madison Square Park filled with arts and crafts, games, live performances with The Little Rockers Band, The Amazing Max, Songs for Seeds, food, face painting, a pumpkin patch plus so much more! Join one of two costume parades with Big Apple Circus and trade your child’s outgrown costumes at our Costume Swap located on the southern gravel.” For more information check out this link:

Stay Tuned!

As I get more suggestions, I will update this, and if any New York Narc Zito supporters out there have some suggestions comment below..


Check out this link on sitters in NYC. In case you both want to check out the event or just have some couples time.