Monthly Archive:: January 2012

“Not my hoard, not my problem.” Anthony Cumia/Melissa Stetten LFTC

First off, if you are one of the 3 people on the internet who has not seen Drinking outta cups. Go here now and watch. I’ll wait. Seriously watch. I know it seems stupid but just watch the fucking thing. You’ll be laughing by the end. Ok at least stay til 1 minute 52. “Not my chair, not my problem that’s what I say.” Now the title of this thing will make sense. Also if you don’t watch Live from the Compound with Anthony Cumia and Melissa Stetten, go to iTunes and check it out. They drink, they take calls, and they watch reality tv. The kind of reality tv that makes you lose faith in all of humanity, Intervention, Toddlers and Tiaras, and my personal favorite Hoarders, we will come back to that in a second.

I think we can all agree the mothers on Toddlers and Tiaras are despicable, as MomsForOpie so wonderfully said in the previous blog post “Podcasts and A New Year!” I swear we didn’t plan this out in advance. Great minds think alike I guess. No one wants to be that parent: the overbearing, pressuring, pain-in-the-ass parent. When you first learn you are going to become a parent, you think about what kind of parent you do want to be. In your quest to raise a “normal” kid, you begin to examine how you were brought up. The ways your own parents fucked you up and the ways your own parents raised you well. You remember all the good times and the bad times. The moments that made you who you are today and the moments where you were scarred for life. All this thinking always leads you to “Holy Jesus I hope I don’t end up like my mother.” Take my mother for instance. My mother is a hoarder. Not a disgusting dead cat, shitty diaper hoarder, but a hoarder none the less. She still owns every piece of clothing, newspaper, and any item bought for children since about 1975. No joke. My sister and I found a tote in a closet filled with newspapers from my senior year of high school. I hated high school. I don’t need memontos from my time there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. I named my daughter after her for God’s sake. But she can’t.throw.a.damn.thing.away. She asked 3 people before she threw out a Cubs pennat from 1984. NO ONE WANTS IT! THROW IT AWAY! But I digress. We all take the little quirks we (and our parents have) and do our best not to pass them on to our kids. I, for instance, refuse to keep stuff around the house I don’t need. For example, you will never see anything like this in my house.

No way, no way. The second I see a broken crayon it gets thrown in the trash. I don’t need to keep 4000 broken crayons just so I can be crafty. Ugh. The lesson in this is that I want to make sure my girls know we don’t need to keep every single thing they have ever owned. We keep the important (and well done) artwork and the toys they really enjoy and actually play with. I fence sell their old toys and clothes on a Facebook rummage sale site. When my daughter asks “why,” which she does incessantly btw, I tell her she has enough toys or she has outgrown a toy/outfit and someone else who needs it can use it now. Then I remind her that not everyone is as fortunate to have so many toys, blah, blah, blah and make it some noble thing about giving to others when it’s really about getting all this shit outta my house. I am hoping this leads to young ladies who treasure the sentimental things and have the empathy to give to others when they have more than enough. What quirk are you desperate not to pass on to your kids? What values/morals do you hope your kids learn from you?

Podcasts and A New Year!

Hi there!

Life is a little crazy for me, and I’ve been a very bad infrequent blogger, Unfortunately with my ADD, and schedule (monitoring bowel movements, playdoh and tea parties)  I can’t consistently do anything well.

I’m very lucky to have the wonderful Katie Frey (@kfrey13) , be basically taking over this blog.  I’ll still be around, but before I really get distracted I wanted to do a post about all the cool podcasts.  Then came the sad realization that it would take 9,392 hours to review them all.  So I am passing along the ones that @struff the O&A historian had compiled as well as the few ones I had a chance to listen to.

The Main Guys- All friends of the show, you need to check out the master historian of O&A he’s got a great page here, just click on this link, or on the graphic below to get you to his page.

The two I managed to listen to:

Live From the Compound– Anthony Cumia.  When I watch LFTC it feels like a real professional show with profanity.  With an ample listener base, Anthony has a great setup here and has the lovely Melissa Stetten as co-host.  I was able to see the nice side of him here too, I believe it is called, Nicethony.  They are the next era of Mystery Science 3000, only replace science with reality TV, add some brutal comments and superior HD quality and no robots, so nothing like MS3K. Oh and there is frequent discussion about guns, and for some reason nail polish (alright that was one episode i heard)

Most recent episode: I’ve listened in on the LFTC simulcast of Toddlers & Tiaras and I can’t really put into words the violent adverse reaction that I have towards this circus (not LFTC but “that train wreck of a show”).  I first have to apologize that this isn’t so much about the LFTC aspect, but the T&T drama.  I sincerely hope the crew gets hazard pay or a good benefits package for having prolonged exposure to bad mothering.  I just would like to say on behalf of quasi-normal moms, we are just doing our best, yeah, we’ll screw up our kids no matter what, but not all of us are living vicariously through our children.  For every crazy parent out there, there are 5 of us fairly normal people who don’t garner much attention, love our kids but know they have their faults as well do we.  We lay low, use discipline as best we can with what works and there isn’t much tv about us, because we make the worst ratings, we don’t take things so seriously, and just go through the highs and lows as best as we can, and vent sometimes on twitter.

Stay strong “fairly normal” parents, I know alot of you out there are awesome, I see you on my timeline, keep up the good work.   And if you want to feel like parent of the year, check out LFTC’s Toddlers & Tiaras simulcast and you can safely say, “at least i would never do this to my children”

Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane- My Wife Hates Me–  Yeah, it can be addicting, I did listen to them while cleaning on a Saturday, no joke.  Instead of therapy, Bonnie and Rich hash it out with each other, and in the end like the song says they are able to always laugh, and slightly show a little affection to each other. Vos always makes me laugh and he insulted one of my closest friends at a show once during a set when she was out with her boyfriend.

Friend: So we went to a comedy show, and the comic started with me.

Me: Ha!

Friend:  Do you know “Rich Vaws?”

Me: Ha!

and she still speaks to me, so that’s good. I love Bonnie.  I really do.  This woman will fly out to do her shows and take a nanny and her kid with her and she could easily be with John Stamos (if the rumors are true).  But she’s devoted to her bad speller and make believe FBI profiler, bless her heart. And she really is super funny and wish she would self-promote herself more so I can actually go see her one day.

Fans/Offshoots Podcasts:

UNlearnTheShow– Cigars and Scotch with Rich Woods.  Visual and Audio, Rich and Tony always have some good material to talk about and interesting rants on everything.  If you’ve seen C&S tweets, his witty comebacks/observations/puns are highlighted on this show.  Sadly I heard that the cabana got flooded, so I think they are presently repairing right now.

ReDICKulous Radio–  Recently a personal favorite to just listen to for the “I know these people” factor.  They are the folks I’ve been following on twitter and I like them. I also can appreciate that they are engaged with the listeners and you can see it is creating community.   I dare say, @footerk is a natural at this and @PomplaDouche is a great shit stirrer… I hope he gets verified by twitter soon. Great work on getting some of my favorite gals as guests too, @lillivonschtupp and @HollyinStPete rule! Hoping to hear @queenelisabeth too.

More that I haven’t heard- please comment below if you have and I can add it to the page.  Comment below to include your podcast so our 6 occasional readers may or may not tune in…